Crazy People Part 2

Remember my crazy aunt and uncle that are not actually my aunt and uncle?  I posted a little update that my aunt ate from my plate at a restaurant, uninvited or initiated by me.

We went out to eat a couple of other times.  We chose Mexican food one night and this happened:

Crazy Uncle:  (without looking at the menu at all) I want a naked burrito.

Waiter:  ???

Crazy Uncle:  You know, a burrito without the tortilla.

Waiter:  (very politely!) We have several burritos to choose from.  So you want lettuce?  Tomato?  Cheese sauce?

C.U.:  Yes.  No tomato.

Waiter:  (still politely but clearly has never heard of this before)  So all you want is ground beef and lettuce and cheese sauce?

C.U.:  No lettuce.  Cheese is fine.

Waiter: (writes things on his note pad)

Me:  Did you want cheese sauce?  Or just cheese?

C.U.:  Cheese is fine. 

Me:  But not sauce?

C.U.:  No sauce.

The waiter was incredibly patient through this.  My husband and I were trying not to look at each other and roll our eyes.  But then later, my crazy aunt got involved.

C.A.:  You see the reason he wants no tortilla is because he has DIABETES and the tortilla has things in it he wants to avoid!  (She is hard of hearing but the yelling was because if the waiter didn't understand her, it would be more clear if she yelled it.)  (Of course.)  (I am rolling my eyes right now!)

And all of this was said as C.U. grabs a handful of chips from the table and munches happily away.

The food came.  C.U. had a pile of ground beef with shredded cheese on a plate.  We ate.  Then my C.A. ordered dessert.  

C.A.:  We want dessert.  We would like to have a sopapilla.  Can you bring it out with the sugar and cinnamon on the side?

Waiter:  Our sopapillas don't have sugar on them.  So you want the cinnamon on the side?

C.A.:  WE WANT THE SUGAR AND CINNAMON ON. THE. SIDE. OF THE SOPAPILLA!  (This was yelled with hand gestures. No kidding, I put my head down on the table here.)

Waiter:  (Speaking a bit louder, but not yelling.  Just trying to be more clear)  There isn't any sugar on our sopapillas.  Just cinnamon, honey, chocolate syrup, and whipped cream.

C.A.:  Okay, just put the cinnamon on the side.

(Waiter wanders off to tell everyone else about the crazy lady that just yelled at him.)

The sopapilla took a bit longer to come out.  I would guess it was so everyone in the back could take turns spitting on it.  When it came out, my diabetic uncle-who-is-not-my-uncle ate half of it.  Because the tortilla on the sopapilla and the chocolate sauce, ice cream and whipped cream and cherry on top (that he grabbed right away and obviously relished!) would not mess with his blood sugar at all!  Many times they repeated that these were not like the sopapillas they had ever had before.  As they licked their fingers and smacked their lips.  

After they licked the plate (kidding a little bit) we got up to leave.  We were going to a minor league ballgame afterwards.  My husband tried to hang around because we just knew he would try to stiff the waiter on the tip.  He did.  But he wouldn't let Tom stay behind and leave a bit more.  You know, a 10% tip instead of an 8% tip.  Now we can't go back in there.  

Thank you C.U. and C.A. for ruining one of our few dining choices in our town.